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Fic: Sentire (9/9)

Title: Sentire (9/9)
Author: Ella Jane
Characters: Nine/Rose, Jack
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Series Rating: NC-17
Timeline: AU from The Doctor Dances
A/N: And then we came to the end. :) Thank you all SO MUCH for your brilliant, insightful comments and feedback. After languishing on my hard drive for months on end, finally posting this story was far more rewarding than I ever thought it would be. I can't thank invisible_lift  enough for trudging through it multiple times, improving it beyond measure with each pass. Please see the note at the end about the reaction post. :)

PSA: Light text on a dark background can make good fic go bad. Click here to view the entry in your own journal format.

x-posted to dwfiction, time_and_chips, and better_with_3, and archived at Teaspoon.

part one | part two | part three | interlude | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

sentire: (L.) experience, feel, perceive, see, think, realize, understand.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Their surroundings, all of time and space, had disappeared. She didn't even know if she was breathing.

At first, she could see nothing but piercing blue. But soon, it was like he was showing her things, almost one by one, and then there was everything, all of him, laid bare for her in his eyes. He let her take her time, and she took in as much as she could, lingering over some, glancing over others she thought might be too hard for him to know she had seen. But it was all there, for her, all of it.

When she was finished, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and moved into him. She tucked her head under his chin, pressed her cheek to his chest, and slid her arms under his coat to lock around his waist.

He pulled the coat around her shoulders as far as it would go, and held on. He moved her, turning back and forth, gently rocking, his head bent over hers. A strange sensation washed over her, and suddenly, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she understood.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

She pulled back a bit and smoothed her hands over his jumper, staring at the middle of his chest, her eyebrows knit together.

"What is it?" the Doctor asked quietly.

"I wish..." She paused. "I don't know, but just then, I felt like I wanted to... climb inside you... be... absorbed, I guess..." She shook her head, frustrated at the words she knew weren't sufficient.

"Something more than just interlocking?"


"That's it," the Doctor said, his voice low. "That's what it was for us. Two spirits coming together, but spirit isn't physical, not in a way that would make any sense to you. Instead of bodies, it's a melding of minds, energies, essences, into a single entity where the original components become indistinguishable from one another. Like two glasses of water poured into a single container, where it becomes impossible to determine which molecule came from which glass. It's only temporary, of course, but it is that complete."

Rose considered this, feeling both fearful and in awe of what he was describing. "And that happened last night?"

"It started to. I didn't even know it could, although looking back, it does make sense, and it was stupid of me not to recognize the possibility. Really, really stupid."

"Recognize what possibility?"

"In general, humans don't have the ability to open their minds to the extent necessary to do what we did. There are walls, in a sense, mental safeguards, some you aren't even aware of. I've known monks who've practiced meditation for years and still aren't able to completely free themselves from these defense mechanisms."

"Then how come I could do it, without even trying?"

"It sounds a bit coarse, but it must have happened when you came. I don't know exactly what goes on inside a human's head at that precise moment, but I'm guessing that if there's ever a time where you lower your guard, or lose it entirely, that's it."

She smiled at this. "I guess so. I know I can't get there unless I stop thinking about it, let my brain shut down. And it never happened with anyone else... until you." She was suddenly quite shy, like talking to him about having an orgasm was somehow more embarrassing than him having watched her have a hundred of them. "But why last night? It's not like it was the first time... I mean, you've made that happen for me so many times before, and Jack had been around before too. What was different about last night?"

The Doctor's face fell, like he'd been dreading this very question all night. He looked away, and she could almost see the shame clouding his entire being. His voice was low, so very quiet. "It's because I lost control. Rose, I'm so sorry. I... I pushed into you, into your head. What we did, the Time Lords... that's how it starts. I always, always held back before, just to be safe, even though I never thought it could actually happen. But last night, watching you, seeing you, I couldn't stop myself. I gave in, and I pushed, and it worked. I invaded your mind and I scared you and I caused you pain and I left you and I am so, so sorry. It was absolutely unforgivable."

He spit the last words out with such anger, such self-loathing, Rose flinched. He could not face her, could not look at her, could not let her see the tears that clouded his eyes, not after everything else.

"Except, I forgive you." She said it simply, like it was the most obvious reaction in the world.

"What?" His head snapped around, and he stared at her now, his wet eyes dark and suspicious.

She shrugged slightly. "I forgive you. You explained what happened, and you apologized, and I forgive you."

The Doctor continued to stare at her. "What is the matter with you? Are you really that simple?" His voice dripped with scorn and sarcasm as he came toward her. "Do you think you can just look up at me with with your wide, trusting eyes and say 'I forgive you' and it's no problem, that's the end of it?" His voice continued to rise, both in volume and intensity, and his eyes blazed as he grabbed her upper arms, shaking her in rhythm with his words. "I violated your mind, Rose. I gave in to my own selfish need, my need to possess you, to make you do something that would bring me pleasure, and I forced my way into your head. Doesn't that mean anything? Don't you care? Don't you have any respect for your..."

"Shut up." In one smooth, surprisingly forceful motion, Rose raised her fists up from the center of her body and flung them out, shoving the Doctor's grip from her arms. Her voice was low and calm, jarring after his rant, and he froze. "For once, just shut up, and listen. You don't get to be angry with me, not now. I'm the only one who gets to be angry and you know that full well. Look at me," she said suddenly when his eyes dropped from hers. He complied in an instant. "Yes, you entered my mind uninvited, but I'm not angry about that. Do you really think there's any part of me that you can't have? But I am angry that you didn't trust me enough to tell me about any of this before. And I am angry that you didn't trust me enough to ask for what you wanted, after you gave me so much of yourself, so freely." She stopped and took a breath. "But most of all, I'm angry at everyone and everything you've encountered in your nine hundred years that made you believe that you don't deserve me."

He stared at her in stunned silence, and though his outward expression was still one of anger, there was a slow, certain shift in his eyes, and she knew she was right. He tried to back away from her but she moved forward, clutching the sleeves of his jacket.

"No." Rose's voice was sharp enough to bring his eyes back up to hers in surprise. "You stay right there, and you listen to me." Her own eyes were full now, and her voice started to break, but she could not hold back anymore. "I'm nothing but a stupid ape, right? Rose Tyler, shopgirl, mucking about a council estate with her daft mother and idiot boyfriend. Just another silly human. There's nothing special about me, right? But you know what? I am still worthy of you."

The Doctor's head fell forward, almost in supplication, and she slid her hands up to brace the back of his neck, running her thumbs along either side of his jaw. The wells in her eyes finally gave way, and her breath caught in her chest as she fought to get her words out. "And you? You are nothing but a stupid Time Lord, crossing centuries and galaxies to save world after world from disaster and destruction." Her trembling lips broke into a smile even as the tears rolled freely down her face. "There's nothing special about you, Doctor, but you are worthy of me."

The words hung in the air for a long moment, until his eyes fell closed. "Oh, Rose..."  

"Quiet," she interrupted, her voice barely above a whisper. "Just... be quiet." She pulled on his neck to bring his forehead down to hers. His hands came up, smoothing lightly over her hair before cradling the back of her head, mirroring her position. They stood like that for a long time, letting the sound of the waves calm their breathing into a steady, synchronized rhythm. Eventually, he turned her head and slowly, gently, pulled her mouth to his.

Rose thought she may have felt something new in that kiss, like the last piece of the puzzle had finally fallen into place.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

The Doctor pulled back and looked at her with some seriousness. "Rose, about Jack... I just don't think... I mean, I have no right to tell you what to do, but..."

"It's okay," Rose answered, her arms locking around his waist as he once again wrapped his jacket around her back. She nestled against him, and sighed. "I'm not sure I could let him have you anymore either."

"Man! You work so hard to bring two people together, and they repay you by kicking you out of their bed?!"

Rose and the Doctor snapped their heads up in unison to find Jack leaning in the doorway of the TARDIS, a half-empty bottle of champagne in one hand, his smile a mile wide.  

"How long were you standing there?" the Doctor demanded as Jack started toward them, stumbling over the rocks a bit more than he might otherwise have.

"Well, when I opened the door... just checking to make sure she hadn't killed you, I swear... you were doing that very sweet forehead-leaning thing." Still smiling, Jack finally reached them, passing the bottle to the Doctor before putting a hand on each of their shoulders. "Then I heard the part about the very sweet monogamy thing, and decided congratulations were in order. And, of course, one last kiss, which, I think you'll agree, is the least you can give me to show your gratitude." He leaned in to Rose first, giving her a swift but solid kiss on the mouth, then took her into his arms.

"Love you," he whispered into her ear.

"Love you, too," she laughed, her hand brushing his cheek as he pulled back to smile at her, before turning toward the Doctor.

"And you, you big lug..." Jack kissed the Doctor just as solidly and pulled him into a bear hug. "You know, except for the somewhat tragic side effect of me being forced into trolling alien dance clubs for companionship, I couldn't be happier for you crazy kids." He grabbed the champagne bottle back and took a long drink, then spread his arms out wide. "And look, you'll always have the lovely coast of Mohair-del-Angela..."  

"Roha-mir-Anzila," the Doctor corrected, rolling his eyes.

"..as your air-quote special place close-air-quote." Jack beamed at the two of them, then turned suddenly serious. "Oh, wait, did you two want to, like, christen this beach? Tell you what, I'll go back inside, finish your champagne, and see if I can charm the TARDIS into intercepting some staticky intergalactic porn channel. You guys take your time..."  

"I think we're fine," Rose laughed, turning Jack around and shoving playfully against his back, moving him back toward the TARDIS. She and the Doctor followed along behind him. "Never really understood the appeal, myself. It's hard enough getting sand out of your shoes, much less..."

"Got it, thanks," the Doctor interrupted, smiling down at her.

"Yeah?" she asked, reaching for his hand.

"Yeah," he replied, threading his fingers with hers.

"So sweet," Jack muttered ahead of them, taking another swig of champagne.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

the end

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

P.S.: REACTION POST! I have posted a placeholder entry for a reaction/discussion post here. I'd be thrilled if you wanted to check it out over the next couple of days, now that you've read the whole story, to let me know generally what you liked and what you didn't. You can jump in with feedback about anything whenever you want, and I'll be adding some of my own commentary-ish notes shortly. Please don't be shy about constructive criticism, as you cannot hurt my feelings -- all it'll do is make me a better writer. :)  And of course, if you have any specific questions, feel free to ask in the comments as well!

Thank you so much for reading!


( 51 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:45 pm (UTC)
I have loved this story so far, but I can't help feeling sorry for Jack! Bless him.
May. 1st, 2008 12:12 am (UTC)
I wouldn't worry... Jack does just fine for himself. Remember, he has yet to meet Ianto! :) Thank you for reading!
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:48 pm (UTC)
Ahh. Such a lovey-dovey fluffy ending!

This part is a bit weird, though:
"And you? You are nothing but a stupid Time Lord, crossing centuries and galaxies to save world after world from disaster and destruction." Her trembling lips broke into a smile even as the tears rolled freely down her face. "There's nothing special about you, Doctor, but you are worthy of me."

Nothing special about him? Couldn't help but feel she may have been a bit sarcastic at that point. But then again, she is pretty special too and they are worthy of eachother. ^.^
May. 1st, 2008 12:16 am (UTC)
Ooh. I wasn't going for sarcasm, I promise... more like affectionate irony. They both know he's one of a kind, with the weight of the universe on his shoulders. She was just trying to help him exist on her level for a while. :) Thank you for the comment!
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
Aww, now I feel sorry for poor Jack! As he doesn't seem too broken up about it, though, and he still has their love, if not their bodies, I suppose it's all good.

I really liked Rose and the Doctor's conversation. Even his angry overreaction to her forgiveness, which strikes me as very real. A momentary lapse on his part, and it turns into days of beating himself up before even giving Rose a chance to forgive him or not--that's Nine, all right. She accepts that he didn't mean to hurt her; that part's easy to forgive. It's really his reticence about letting her know what he needs that hurts her, and she rightly let him have it for that.

Great story. Very erotic, very dark, but there's light at the end. Thank you!
May. 1st, 2008 12:21 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I appreciate the comment about his anger in the face of her forgiveness... it's one of the things I was most worried about. Obviously to ME it made sense, but you all don't live inside my head! I think sometimes people (er, or Time Lords) who feel they deserve to be punished don't take forgiveness all that well, which is what I was going for here.

Thank you again for all your comments throughout the series!
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)
I'll be looking in on the reaction post too, but just comments on this final chapter.

First, the explanation does work for me. What sells it to me is:

- the Doctor wasn't actually intending to do it, even if he was deliberately being a bit more possessive than normal. Now, I know he told Jack that it was accidental, but that wasn't enough. How many abusers, the morning after, tell their victim that it was an accident, that they're sorry? So I didn't buy that then. I do now.

- he didn't just apologise for invading her mind, he accepted that it was a violation and that he was wrong to leave.

- Rose didn't just roll over and accept his apology; she told him that she was angry with him for not trusting her enough to tell her sooner what his needs were and giving her a chance to meet them.

For all of those reasons, yes, I buy it.

The one thing I don't like (and I'm sure it'll come up in the reaction post) is the exclusion of Jack. I know you spelt out right from the start that this wasn't full OT3 and I know I have no right to complain (so I'm not). I do very much like the way you wrote Jack at the end: still flirty, still teasing, bowing out with good grace. And, yes, I can agree that it's all very much in character and it was nicely done :)

Well done for finishing, and for putting up with all our whinges and demands and commentary as you were posting. I really enjoyed this story, and still believe that the first threesome lovemaking scene is far and away the best OT3-lovemaking I've read in DW fic (another reason why I would have preferred a different outcome, but as I've already said I know that's not what you intended). Excellent work!
May. 1st, 2008 12:40 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm soooo glad the resolution worked for you, even though it might not have been the one you really wanted. :) I do imagine OT3 will come up in the reaction post. As well as your first point about the Doctor's intention, which I purposefully made quite complicated.

And I appreciated all of the whinges and demands and commentary, I really did! Though it helped that the series was finished before I ever started posting it... I think if I had been writing it as I went along, I would have twisted myself inside out to try to make everyone happy, which is well nigh impossible. :)

Thanks so much for all of your feedback!
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
Oh, yes. I knew there'd be a good explanation for all of this and there was. So very true to both of them. Though, I'm with Wendy, in the exclusion of Jack. I *know* this is a Nine/Rose story with Jack on the side. But this had some brilliant OT3 scenes, scenes that just showed the love between them, but that's okay. I'm definitely a fan of how Jack reacted at the end because that is how he'd take something like that (though he'd want to watch ;)). Gorgeous stuff, this. Thank you so much for sharing!
May. 1st, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)
Thank YOU so much for all of your comments, throughout the series! I'm glad Jack's reaction here seemed in character for you, even if you would have rather he put up a fight. :) I shall explain my decision about OT3 in the reaction post, but I'm so glad you liked it overall, and I really appreciated all the excellent feedback!
May. 1st, 2008 01:56 am (UTC)
I have to say that I love Jack at the ending. I still think that OT3 or a big fight or something would be great but I understand the idea and I'm grateful for Jack being so Jack.
May. 1st, 2008 03:18 am (UTC)
Jack is very Jack here, isn't he? :) I'm glad it worked for you, thank you for commenting!
May. 1st, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
Lovely story with a very nice resolution :)
May. 1st, 2008 03:22 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! And, thank you EXTRA much for your fantastic icons, I feel like they fit the story perfectly! I really love all the black and white work you do... just divine. :)
(no subject) - isiscaughey - May. 1st, 2008 04:31 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 1st, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)

Loved the discussion between the Doctor and Rose and her quick forgiveness (lesson learned partly from him) of the Doctor. I thought the Doctor's reaction to her saying "I forgive you" was perfect, and Rose expressing her emotions without retracting what she'd said was very Rose-ish.
May. 1st, 2008 03:26 am (UTC)
That's very nice to hear, thank you so much! Again, I really do hate saying things like this, but Rose's words here practically wrote themselves. She knew exactly what she wanted to say. :) Thank you for reading!
May. 1st, 2008 03:01 am (UTC)
Yay!!! Loved this :)

...want more! (whathappensnext?)
May. 1st, 2008 03:27 am (UTC)
OMG, bite your tongue. :) This fic ate my brain for over a YEAR, so I think I'll be leaving these guys on their own for a while! But thank you so much!

[Edited b/c "bit your tongue" is a WHOLE other thing.]

Edited at 2008-05-01 03:28 am (UTC)
(no subject) - transcendancing - May. 1st, 2008 03:33 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
May. 1st, 2008 03:35 am (UTC)
I'm so glad it worked for you! Thank you so much for the lovely comments. I really wanted to resolve things without a big damn deus ex machina, so it's nice to hear I may have succeeded. :) Thank you!
May. 1st, 2008 03:17 am (UTC)
Oh, now THAT was well done...a marvelous explanation! Just loved Jack at the end, just full of himself, as always! This fic will go in my favorites!
May. 1st, 2008 03:37 am (UTC)
Hee! I do love Jack at the end too. Obviously there are many volunteers around here willing to comfort him. (Get in line, y'all.) :) I'm so flattered that you're favoriting, thank you so much!
May. 1st, 2008 03:25 am (UTC)
Mmmmm. Well, I think you'll be happy to know that I've forgiven the Doctor. A lot of it has to do with the end of the explanation, and the fact that he let her look into him the same way he looked into her. He gave (let her take?) equal footing. The last big chunk that sold me was not so much that he apologized, but that he really acknowledged what a violation his actions were. More than that, he was genuinely disgusted with himself. While I'm not a fan of unnecessary angst, this wouldn't have worked if he had only understood the violation on a purely intellectual level.

I also wouldn't have liked the ending nearly as much if Rose hadn't so simply and eloquently forgiven the Doctor. It's good that he feels guilty for what he did, but wallowing would just let it fester, and end up hurting both of them a lot more. Rose is one of the few characters I've ever encountered who is incredibly strong and stubborn and can still believably forgive such actions. I'm not sure I would believe this forgiveness from another character and still see it as a healthy, emotionally independent action. I love that she set the Doctor in his place when he tried to push her away, and that she was angry with him for not telling her that this was something he wanted.

And lastly, Jack. While I am sad that he is no longer participating in *ahem* extracurricular activities with them (I do love me some OT3), this is one of the few instances where I think the story would be worse if he were still intimately involved. I would only say that I hope he gets an explanation for what happened at some point, because he was definitely involved.

I am incredibly impressed that you could have the Doctor do something so abhorrent, and still make it completely believable and reasonable for Rose to forgive him in the end. Very well done, and though I'm sorry this story is over, I can't wait to check in with the reaction post.
May. 1st, 2008 03:48 am (UTC)
I'm glad you have forgiven him! Means I've done my job. :) I was concerned that people would think Rose was letting him off too easily, but it just rang so true to me, given what she had seen of him, and what she knew of him already. (I put up something about trust in the reaction post, but that's a big element here.)

And I'm glad you said what you did about Jack. Obviously, I agree with this, or I would have made it a geniune OT3! And yes, I like to think he gets a full explanation over another bottle of champagne. :)

Thank you so much for sharing, I have really appreciated all of your comments here!
May. 1st, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed this fic. I do get the feeling that Jack took a few moments to compose himself to get that happy face up, though. I bet he's not as cheery about losing his partners as he looks... but it's in character for your Doctor and Rose to cut him out of it at some point. Even if I do love some good OT3 when I can get it. ;) And you were right; it helps that Jack has centuries of tail to look forward to.

In general, the fic was well-written, with clear characterizations and a good ending discussion between Nine and Rose here. Very him, assuming she'd want to go home last chapter. And very her, to gather all the facts before condemning him and managing to forgive him because of it.
May. 1st, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I know, it's very hard for me to feel sorry for Jack for very long. He'll be fine, I am sure. :)

Thank you so much for your comments and feedback throughout the story! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
May. 1st, 2008 05:53 am (UTC)
Poor 9 really is damaged, isn't he? Poor lad. I'm glad that he finally managed to explain himself.

If this were canon, it would be half the reason for something that happened in the last ep of series 3. *ahem*

I feel a bit sad for Jack, but I think it's good to remember that his view of relationships might be a bit different than ours.

Here is your gold star. Well done.
May. 1st, 2008 06:04 pm (UTC)
*puts on gold star* Thank you so much! Nine really is just big damn heap of broken. Good fodder for us angst-happy writers, though. :) I'm glad you liked the story!
May. 1st, 2008 08:13 am (UTC)
Brilliant! It's left me feeling all warm and gooey and a huge grin over my face.
I have enjoyed it so much and so sad that this was the last part.

I was feeling a little sorrt for Jack, but then I saw your reply to the first comment *g*

Well I am off to see if you have other fic posted, well after work
/me coughs and looks around innocently.
May. 1st, 2008 06:06 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad it wrapped up well for you! I was definitely aiming for a bit of a smile at the end. I don't have much other fic posted (it takes me WAY TOO LONG to write) but I'm trying to work on that this year. Thanks for reading and commenting!
May. 1st, 2008 12:16 pm (UTC)
*sniff - wiping away a stray tear*

Oh, wow.... this was a great way for this story to end! WOW!

Amazing... good job... loved it
May. 1st, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked how it ended! And thanks for all the comments you left throughout the series!
May. 1st, 2008 01:27 pm (UTC)
Love the ending, and the explanation makes sense. The voices are perfect, too. Jack's second last line! ;)

I posted the artwork - http://laurab1.livejournal.com/265769.html#cutid1
May. 1st, 2008 06:08 pm (UTC)
The artwork is beautiful, thank you so much! I used it in the next post as a "cover" for a little post-story soundtrack. It's really lovely!
May. 1st, 2008 07:25 pm (UTC)
Well, as with others who have commented above, I'm sorry to see Jack bowing out, since my natural, *personal* inclinations are that two's company and three's a party (with the right people, anyway), and because I write/ship these characters as a full-out OT3. That being said, with these *versions* of the characters, and the relationships they've developed, it doesn't seem OOC.

I imagine Jack probably had to fight off some disappointment, but he's got the cultural background and personality to handle it -- and if you really care about the person/people you're having sex with, then you should care enough to *stop* having sex if it's what they want/need.

Good for Rose, standing up to the Doctor; he really did need to get hit in the head with a clue-by-four, but at least he seemed to "get" it . . . finally! :)

May. 3rd, 2008 05:03 am (UTC)
Thanks for your comments! Again, I feel bad for anyone who was disappointed by the non-OT3, but I'm glad you felt like it was not out of character for it to end like this. Having Jack as a full-on partner in the relationship would have taken the story in an entirely different direction. I'm definitely a fan of OT3 (and I can't wait to read some of your work, which I avoided on purpose while I was still working this out) but it just wouldn't have worked here.

And yeah, I definitely wanted to make sure Jack took it in stride. I do think he's going to be just fine. :) Thanks so much for reading!
(no subject) - dameruth - May. 3rd, 2008 10:54 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - roquentine - May. 4th, 2008 03:35 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 1st, 2008 11:23 pm (UTC)
I just finished reading the story in one go - that was fantastic. You've got a very good way of description, and I heartily enjoyed it all, down to the very last bit. (Poor Jack. I think he'd already had half that bottle of champagne....)
May. 3rd, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)
Thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked it, especially all at once! I don't think *I* was ever able to do that. :) Thanks for the comment!
May. 5th, 2008 10:25 am (UTC)
On the whole I've really enjoyed this series, but I guess like others I too was a bit sad and disappointed to see Jack 'kicked' out of the bed.

Maybe it's because I'm a big Jack fan myself, and I really adored the OT3 scenes in this fic, they worked so beautifully well, and there's also the combination of knowing Jack will indeed be rejected and abandoned again if we're keeping to Doctor Who canon. So when Jack is on the TARDIS I like to think of it as happy as possible, no rejection or exclusion.

Jack was happy and brave in this chapter about it, and if he were sleeping with anyone else, just two random people, I'd completely agree he wouldn't truly mind a jot. But if anyone could make him care and feel disappointed, then it'd be Rose and the Doctor in my eyes. I can't help but think it would sting a bit, no matter how much porn/flings he goes back to or that he'll have Ianto in around a 140 years, he loves the Doctor and Rose and I kinda love them all together.

Apart from that though, I did enjoy reading this. =)
May. 5th, 2008 09:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your comment! I'm so sorry that you were disappointed about the lack of OT3 in this story. I made a very conscious effort to show, from the moment Jack first proposed that they all go to bed together, that he was in this for pleasure within a larger bond of friendship. Obviously there is going to be an emotional connection, but I didn't necessarily feel it has to be all (i.e., OT3) or nothing (i.e., three people who use each other for sex and that's it). In that sense, when Jack learns that they need to be exclusive, I had him take it less like being dumped, and more like when a best friend moves to another country for an awesome job -- you're happy for your friend, but (rightly) feel sorry for yourself that you won't get to hang out every day. I thought Jack would choose to show the first emotion and keep the second to himself, because he IS truly happy for them and he doesn't want them to have guilt about going monogomous.

I hope this explanation helps somewhat, though I appreciate that the end may just not have been your cup of tea, which is totally valid. :) Thank you for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm glad you enjoyed most of it!
May. 22nd, 2008 03:31 am (UTC)
I didn't read your whole story, sorry too lazy. But I did read the last two chapters. I think I got the gist, anyway very nice! Spot on characterization. And some very interesting ideas, bravo :)

edited for typo

Edited at 2008-05-22 03:32 am (UTC)
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! (The last two chapters, anyway!)
Jul. 9th, 2008 02:59 pm (UTC)
This is a beautiful story - thank you for sharing!
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading, and commenting! It's nice to know people are still finding it!
Dec. 8th, 2008 06:52 am (UTC)
I just read this entire thing tonight, and I just wanted to tell you that I thought it was excellent. You can really see it and it definitely has a... I guess feel to it, I don't think I can really explain that. And of course possessive nine is just awesome.
Dec. 12th, 2008 06:18 am (UTC)
Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's been a while since I've visited this story, so it's been grand to check back in with it. It was a frustrating piece to write, but also so very much fun. Thanks for commenting!
Mar. 29th, 2009 04:57 am (UTC)
Hi. I just stumbled upon this story and, even though it's a year old, I had to leave you a note saying how amazing it was. I loved your characterization of Rose, of Jack, and of the Doctor, separately and in various combinations. All the loving was sweet and all the sexing was super hot. I thought your take on Time Lord Mind Sex was original, fascinating, and really sweet. So much of what went on earlier clicked in to place for me - the bit about how Rose couldn't hide what was in her eyes, how they were skin to skin but he wasn't truly naked, and his insistence that she look at him when she told him she was hers. It was a well-crafted story and I already want to reread it to pick up on all the subtle things I'm sure I missed along the way.
Apr. 12th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
Hi, thank you so much for the comment! It is nice to know people are still wandering across this little story from time to time. I'm so glad the characterization rang true for you -- it's what I agonize over the most when I'm writing. I appreciate you letting me know how much you enjoyed it!
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sherlock bw
Ella Jane

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